#cultisolation #cultawareness #Christianchurches #religiousabuse #spiritualabuse #narcissisticabuse #redflagsofabuse #Christiancults #

Hey there, church checkers. This year, we're focusing on sharing several vital ways you can check your church for red flags of corruption, abuse, and cultic control. If you haven’t already, check out these other recent posts to help you learn to recognize financial abuse, cultic control, and several forms of abuse in your local church or ministry. 

This month, the red flag on our chopping block is another behavior many cults practice as a means of control and abuse: isolation. 

Sometimes, what starts as innocent connection and community can slide into control and overstepping boundaries, and before you know it, you’re cut off from the world, your family, friends, and even yourself. If a cult hopes to keep its members entrapped, it isolates them as much as possible.

If your church or any group you’re a part of exhibits any of these red flags of cult isolation, examine them more closely for other red flags of corruption, abuse, and cultic control to make sure you’re not being preyed on by a parasitic and abusive cult. 

In the meantime, let’s break down three big red flags of cult isolation and some questions to help you check your own church or ministry for these isolationist tactics.

Red Flag #1: Social Isolation

Controlling cults will isolate their members socially by claiming their family doesn’t get it, their old friends are “toxic” or “worldly,” and anyone outside the group (even other churches, counselors, or the police) is automatically suspect, untrustworthy, and maybe even “demonic”. 

Social isolation is all about making your relationship with anyone besides the cult an “us versus them” dynamic. Anyone not with or supportive of the group/church is the enemy. I’ve seen this kind of isolation play out more times than I’d like to think about and it’s always heartbreaking to see the grief and confusion it wreaks on a cult member’s family and friends. Decades-long relationships can end at a moment’s notice when a controlling and manipulative cult has their hooks in someone's mind. 

If you find yourself ending relationships to please your religious overlords, they might be coercing you to socially isolate yourself to more easily control and abuse you without consequence. 

One of the biggest selling points for the local church is the way it provides fellowship, close relationships with like-minded believers, and community, but the Christian cult can quickly feel like being in solitary confinement. When a church demands you ditch trusted family and friends—especially people who love you or could help you—it’s not protection; it’s isolation. Cult isolation leaves you vulnerable, with no one to help you or call out the cultic craziness when it starts to creep in. 

Things to check for in your church or group:

• Can you hang out with family or friends without guilt trips or lectures?

• Are you free to talk to a counselor or pastor outside the group if you need to?

• Do leaders paint outsiders (even law enforcement) as threats instead of important resources?

Red Flag #2: Information Isolation

Another red flag of cult isolation is Information Isolation, or what cult expert Steve Hassan calls Information Control. In order to isolate you from information that could threaten their control and power over you, the Christian cult will discourage you from reading books, watching videos, or going to websites that threaten their fragile and false image. 

They’ll they say outside ideas that contradict the church’s teachings are “worldly,” “deceptive,” or “unbiblical.” I’ve seen groups ban everything from the news to blogs, podcasts, and the social media pages of former members, claiming they’re all lies, slander, and gossip. This form of isolation makes everyone a liar, except the cult’s leaders, the result being complete intellectual dependence on the cult leader and everything they think. 

Truth doesn’t crumble under questions and criticism—it welcomes it. When a church controls what you see, hear, or think, they’re not guarding your soul; they’re isolating your mind from information that threatens their self-proclaimed infallibility. If your church leaders are scared of a Google search, they probably have something to hide.

God encourages us to seek wisdom, not silence it or hide it from people. Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32, NIV)—not chain you to one voice, ministry leader, or “pastor”.

Things to check for in your church:

• Are you allowed to explore ideas or information from outside the church without being shamed or attacked?

• Do leaders dismiss arguments or evidence that don’t fit their narrative?

• Can you ask “why” without being labeled rebellious or unfaithful?

• Is it unacceptable to have ideas or opinions that deviate from your church’s leaders?

Red Flag #3: Spiritual Isolation | Isolating You From God & Yourself

This one is sneaky and deeply pernicious. When a cult wants to isolate you, many go so far to even isolate you from yourself, your own thoughts, opinions, knowledge, and personality. You’re discouraged from quiet time, self-reflection, being alone with your own thoughts, or even in private communion with God.

Cult leaders must isolate you from anything and everything outside the cult that could threaten their domination over your life to maintain control over you, but ironically, you and God are people who could threaten this scheme, too. 

They might warn against trusting your feelings, calling them unreliable, while portraying their own feelings as always truthful, thus rejecting the Holy Spirit in you and making their connection to God the only valid one.

They might push constant group activities so you’re never alone and never have any downtime to pray privately or contemplate what you’re getting yourself into.

When every Bible study needs to be spoon-fed, controlled, or directed by a vetted church resource, and independent study is discouraged, if not outright shamed and ridiculed, you might be a in a cult that’s trying to isolate you from your own critical thinking skills and God’s Spirit in you. 

You can’t hear God—or your own gut—if you don’t have time to think or pray. When a group keeps you too busy or guilt-ridden to think for yourself, they’re not building you up; they’re breaking you down and isolating you, not just from yourself, but from the Spirit of Christ within you. 

The Bible frequently encourages and references private reflection and individual communion with God just as much, if not more, than fellowship with others. Constant noise and socializing leaves nothing left for your personal relationship with God, but it’s your relationship with God that should take precedence over everything else. 

Things to check for in your church:

• Do you feel free to step back, reflect, or spend time alone without pushback or harassment from other church members or leaders?

• Are you encouraged to trust your own discernment, or is it always “submit to us” and “trust our discernment”?

• Do leaders act like your identity only matters as part of their system, or are you considered a member of the Body of Christ regardless of whether you’re a member of their group?

• Do you constantly feel overwhelmed by church group activities and responsibilities that leave you no time for private prayer and independent study? 

Final Thoughts

If any of these red flags sound familiar, please don’t ignore them. It’s easy to dismiss things like this as unimportant or petty as Christians, but the reality is, these isolationist practices aren’t Christ-like or biblical, and they won’t lead to the fruits of the Spirit. In fact, I’d argue they lead to the exact opposite.

Cult members sometimes lose their entire families and lifelong friends because of the controlling and abusive isolationist tactics of cult leaders. This isn’t the love of Christ, but a sinister and narcissistic desire for control, power, and money.

Look for these red flags in your church and start asking questions. Talk to someone outside the group that you trust. Go to God and ask Him to guide and protect you. He’s not afraid of your doubts or angry at your questions. Unlike the insecure and narcissistic cult leader, He'll guide you through them and show you the truth, wherever it may lead.

Isolation thrives in silence, so break it. It dwells in busy schedules and the constant barrage of social activities, so slow down and spend some time alone with your own thoughts, and more importantly, with God. 

Have you seen these red flags in your church or former church? Drop a comment below and share your experiences. Let’s check these churches and protect God’s sheep together.